Online dating has become a very popular method of meeting people. Many successful couples have met on online dating sites and have successfully built lasting relationships.
Even though this practice has become extremely popular, there are still so many men who have no idea how to talk to women – not in person and especially not online.
The way they talk to these women is only the tip of the iceberg.
So many men who participate in online dating do not realise that they are making an endless range of mistakes.
If you have ever talked to a woman about her online dating experience you will be shocked to hear about how men approach the practice.
These men are actually the reason why online dating has gotten such a bad rep for being hook-up sites rather than a place where people can legitimately meet men and women with who they can spend the rest of your life.
So, if you are already making use of an online dating site or if you are considering joining one, you should definitely read continue reading. Chances are you are making some of these online dating mistakes and as a result, you are jeopardising your chances with amazing women.
Table of Contents
- Your Profile Picture
- Profile Content Errors
- Bragging or Being Insecure
- Chatting to Every Woman
- Looking For “Drama-Free” Women
- Using Text Language
- Calling Her Pet Names
- Don’t Be a Creep
- Do Not Ask Inappropriate Questions
Your Profile Picture
If you aren’t fully dressed in your profile picture then you are making a huge mistake. Nobody wants to see that.
People make so many mistakes when they select their profile pictures. The biggest one being anything containing nudity – which for the purpose of this article includes men being shirtless.
Make sure you are fully dressed in your profile picture.
This includes pants, a shirt, shoes, socks and even a belt – you can even add some manly accessories to complete your look. Also, please don’t wear shorts. The only reason for you to wear shorts is if you are going swimming or if you haven’t yet been able to grow proper facial hair.
There are a few other profile pic mistakes that you need to be sure to avoid, including a photo of anything other than your face. A full body pic is fine if you are fully dressed but do not crop your face out of the picture. It is literally you saying that you are ugly.
Other profile pic mistakes include low-quality photo’s, photos with drugs or drinking, photos with women, group photos where a woman has no way of knowing which one you are, mirror selfies, and of course posting a photo of somebody who is not you.
Profile Content Errors
Everything from your username, your details and your grammar.
When you are setting up your online dating profile, you will have so many opportunities to make mistakes, starting with your username. Your username and profile pic will determine what kind of first impression you will make. The only username you can use is a version of your name. Since we all know how hard it can be to choose a username that has not been taken, the chances that you will be able to choose something like JohnSmith is basically 0%. You might, however, be able to get something like iAmJohnSmith, JohnSmith584, or something in that line. A very important thing to remember is not to be crude! Do not make any sexual remarks, do not use swear or cuss words and for crying out loud, do not make your name SurferDude21! You are a grown man – act like it!
Now that we have covered the username issue, you need to keep a few other things in mind.
Your profile needs to be somewhat of a resume.
You can make use of similar guidelines. Firstly, just like in your resume, you absolutely need to refrain from making sexual references or bringing up sex in your profile. Intimacy is part of a romantic relationship – women know this.
This one might seem obvious but you need to be honest. It is always best to be honest in whatever you do. And lying about your age, weight, built, length, job, and financial status is simply pathetic so don’t do it.
It is also important that you make use of good spelling and grammar. It says a lot about a man.
Bragging or Being Insecure
This is one of those areas where you need to find a perfect balance.
Women might like men who are confident and even sometimes a little arrogant but when you start bragging about anything and everything you have accomplished in the past 20 years then you are going to be a real bore.
The two most annoying ways of bragging that you need to avoid is when you keep bragging about one thing and bring it up at every possible moment or when you achieved something in high school or college and you are still talking about it decades later.
A good example of this would be if you had graduated at the top of your class and you cannot stop talking about it – it happened 17 years ago but you are still talking about it every day.
There is nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments but do not keep bragging about one thing – no matter how impressive it was.
And definitely, do not live off ancient glory – all this indicates is that you haven’t accomplished anything worthwhile in the past decade.
It is also important to not come across as too insecure. Hinting for compliments or saying things like “I am so ugly” is nothing other than pathetic and off-putting.
Chatting to Every Woman
STOP SWIPING RIGHT!!
You cannot possibly be attracted to every woman on earth. You need to have some standards and remember – quality is better than quantity.
The type of man who comes to mind when I think of this online dating error is one who starts a conversation with “Hey gorgeous” and continues to write something like “What is your bra size?” or the classic “Send a pic”- but we will get to that in due time.
Stop talking to every woman you come across.
Look through a bunch of profiles and choose one or maybe two to talk to – preferably one.
You might not know this but if you swipe right on Tinder, the site is likely to classify you as a bot. The reason for this is that no person on earth can possibly be interested in every single person they see.
There are many other sites than Tinder but that is simply a good example. It is important to have standards when you are participating in online dating or actual dating.
We all understand that your odds of success is better when you are chatting to hundreds of women but not only is this sleazy but speaking on a psychological level – it is a strong indicator that you will not have successful and lasting relationships.
Looking For “Drama-Free” Women
First of all, if you say this, you look like a real jerk.
You are also really dumb because if you think that there is something like a drama-free woman then you are sorely mistaken. Women are inherently dramatic. Just like you are fundamentally incapable of not noticing a woman’s chest – so is a woman incapable of not being dramatic and emotional.
This also indicates that you have some serious baggage because the only way you can be looking for a drama-free woman is if you just came out of a relationship with a woman who you believed to be dramatic.
Now, back to the first reason why saying this is wrong – you are being a jerk.
This is so rude and superficial. What women hear when you say this is that you are looking for shallow relationships based on no deep feelings; because guess what? Relationships are full of drama. They are filled with drama, and emotions, and arguments, because that is part of loving somebody. It is not always fun and games, you take the good with the bad.
Using Text Language
It is not a real language.
If you greet a woman using something like “Hey bby whts ur sgn” it will most likely want to make her punch you in the face. And, if you do use this type of spelling then I am assuming that you are the type of guy who will use that type of line on a girl and call her “baby”- two things that are absolutely horrible from a woman’s point of view. Not only do you come across as a 14-year-old boy who read an article in his dad’s playboy from the 70’s on “How to Pick Up Women, but you also sound completely and utterly uneducated. “
If you think women want to waste their time deciphering your messages – they don’t.
Before even attempting to join an online dating site, you should probably buy a dictionary or go back to school. Just like nobody is interested in a guy whose profile is filled with spelling and grammar errors, nobody wants to have a conversation with somebody who does not know the difference between there, their, and they’re – or with somebody who is too lazy to bother typing anything more comprehensive that “thr”.
Calling Her Pet Names
Getting a “Hey Beautiful” message from a complete stranger is unbelievably off-putting.
Unless she is your wife or girlfriend, there is absolutely no reason to call her anything other than whatever her first name is.
Calling a woman you are talking to on an online dating site Beautiful, Gorgeous, Sexy, in place of her name is wrong.
First of all, it is quite offensive. Not for any feministic reasons, but simply because it makes a woman feel uncomfortable – a lot like when a guy says or yells a compliment (or anything for that matter) to a girl walking by. While this is somewhat off topic, never talk to a strange girl on the street or compliment her. Many men do not realise this but it is a form of harassment known as street harassment and there are some countries that are taking legal action against men (and women) who commit this crime. You might see it as a compliment but it makes a person feel violated.
Back to the matter at hand, women do not like being called pet names by random guys. Other than being off-putting, it makes a woman feel like you cannot bother to know or remember her name.
Don’t Be a Creep
Why men feel the need to act like creeps is a mystery.
Do you honestly believe that showering her with compliments and texting her 24/7 is going to make her more interested in you? If so then you really need to learn how to talk to women.
While women do enjoy attention, there needs to be a balance. Just be a normal guy.
Talk to her like she is a new friend, ask her about basic things like her work and her pets, do not ask her personal questions and for crying out loud, stop complimenting her. You can compliment her grammar or vocabulary if you have to compliment something. However, until you actually meet a woman, don’t compliment her looks.
If you do happen to meet or go on a date then you can use a more general compliment like “you look great” but it is important to wait before calling a woman beautiful.
The thing about women is that they tend to lose interest if a guy is overly interested from the start. We are not saying that you should play hard to get but just be cool. You have no idea how quickly a guy can come off as creepy.
So remember; no pet names and cool it with the compliments.
Do Not Ask Inappropriate Questions
In hindsight, we should have probably put this one first.
Honestly, guys, this is the biggest one yet, so hopefully, most men make it this far into the article.
Men on online dating sites love to ask inappropriate questions and seriously it needs to stop.
If you want to know what an inappropriate question is – it is anything you would not ask your grandmother.
This includes questions like “what is your bra size”, “send me a pic” and anything else that is even remotely related.
We cannot stress this enough – do not ask her to send you a picture. You might think that getting her to send you a picture of her body is some kind of accomplishment when you manipulate a woman into betraying her self-worth, but in actuality, you just being a sleazy little pervert.
If you want to feel accomplished, try being a gentleman. There is an endless supply of sleazy men out there; you might be surprised what being a gentleman can get you.